Vegetative state

Recently, news of vegetables has come into my life. Not that I didn't know what vegetables were or didn't eat them before; I would have to be alien or stupid not to. Late at night one evening last week, click cruising through facebook in a stupor of boredom, I came across the group On May 15th 2008, everybody needs to go out and panic buy CARROTS. I joined it for the hell of it, figuring it's kind of like flash mob but on a much grander (and more orange) scale. Plus I like carrots.

I marked the date in my diary and went about my business, completely forgetting about it. This morning as I was getting ready with the BBC's early morning programme on in the background, a very solemn piece caught my attention. Ladies and gentlemen, we are soon to experience an onion shortage. Yes, apparently, the stock of British onions is dwindling and we are about to have our own eye-stinging crisis as prices rise and members of the public brawl in the aisles of Tesco over the last bag of shallots.

You know it's serious when Reuters puts out a two page story on it.