Best phishing email. EVER.

From my junk mail filter this evening...

NOITIFICATION‏
From: FBI (fbgvous1@poczta.onet.eu)
Sent: 23 March 2009 13:27:40
To:

ANTI-TERRORIST AND MONEY LAUNDRY CRIMES DIVISION
FBI HEADQUARTERS IN WASHINGTON, D.C.
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
J. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING
935 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE,
NW WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535-0001 Website: www.fbi.gov

HAVE A NICE DAY,

THIS IS AN OFFICIAL ADVICE FROM THE FBI, FOREIGN REMITTANCE/TELEGRAPHIC DEPT. (FRTD), IT HAS COME TO OUR NOTICE THAT THE ADB (AFRICAN DEVELOPMENT BANK) AND C.B.N (CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA) AFRICA HAS RELEASED YOUR PART OF INHERITANCE/CONTRACT PAYMENT OF 10,500,000.00 U.S DOLLARS INTO FIRST UNION CORP BANK/MORTGAGE IN YOUR NAME AS THE BENEFICIARY.

THE BANK IN AFRICA KNOWING FULLY WELL THAT THEY DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH FACILITIES TO EFFECT THIS PAYMENT FROM EUROPE TO YOUR ACCOUNT, USED WHAT WE KNOW AS A SECRET DIPLOMATIC TRANSIT PAYMENT S.T.D.P TO PAY THIS FUND THROUGH WIRE TRANSFER. THEY ARE STILL WAITING FOR FINAL CONFIRMATION FROM YOU ON THE ALREADY TRANSFERRED FUNDS, TO ENABLE THEM CREDITING INTO YOUR ACCOUNT ACCORDINGLY. SECRET DIPLOMATIC TRANSFER PAYMENT ARE NORMALLY FUNDS RELATED TO DRUG/TERRORIST AND MONEY LAUNDRY SYSTEM OF PAYMENT, WHY MUST YOUR PAYMENT BE MADE IN SUCH SECRET TRANSFER , IF YOUR TRANSACTION IS LEGITIMATE AND NOT RELATED TO DRUG/TERRORIST AND MONEY LAUNDRY, WHY CAN'T THE BANK IN AFRICA VIA EUROPE EFFECT DIRECT TRANSFER INTO YOUR ACCOUNT THAN SECRET DIPLOMATIC PAYMENT TRANSFER.

DUE TO THE INCREASED DIFFICULTIES AND UNNECESSARY SCRUTINY BY THE AMERICAN AUTHORITIES WHEN FUNDS COME FROM THROUGH SUCH PAYMENT PROCESS FROM EUROPE, AFRICA AND MIDDLE EAST, BASED ON THE RECORDS WE HAD IN THE PAST ALWAYS IDENTIFIED SUCH METHOD OF PAYMENT AS DRUG/ TERRORIST/MONEY LAUNDRY FUNDS, TO AVOID PROBLEM WITH THE US GOVERNMENT AS SOON AS THESE FUNDS REFLECT IN YOUR ACCOUNT IN THE U.S.A, IT IS OUR MANDATORY OBLIGATIONS TO ASCERTAIN THE DOCUMENTATION AND CERTIFICATION OF THIS FUNDS BEFORE THE FINAL CREDITING INTO YOUR ACCOUNT.

WE ADVICE YOU CONTACT US IMMEDIATELY, AS THE FUNDS HAVE BEEN STOPPED AND HELD IN OUR CUSTODY PENDING WHEN YOU WERE ABLE TO PROVIDE US WITH A DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY SEAL OF TRANSFER (DIST) WITHIN 3 DAYS FROM THE UNITED NATION INTERNATIONAL FUND MONITORY UNIT (UNIFMU) THAT AUTHORIZE THE TRANSFER AND CERTIFIED THAT THE FUNDS ORIGINATED FROM AFRICA AND MIDDLE EAST IS FREE FROM TERRORIST/DRUG AND MONEY LAUNDRY OR WE SHALL CONFISCATE THE FUND. WE WILL ALLOW THE FUNDS TO BE RELEASE INTO YOUR ACCOUNT IMMEDIATELY YOU MAKE PROVISION THE REQUIRED DOCUMENT.

YOU WILL BE DIRECTED WHERE AND HOW TO GET THE DOCUMENT IF IT IS NOT IN YOUR POSSESSION. THANKING YOU FOR YOUR TIME,

FBI DIRECTOR
ROBERT S. MUELLER III

Every time I read it, I hear the Fonejacker's voice.

Colorize me

At long last, the story of last Thursday night, accompanied by photos from my iPhone. Let's read on, shall we? We hit the Ray-Ban Colorize launch party at Ultra Lounge at Selfridges and what a night it was - greeted at the doors with free-flowing mojitos and beer, we knew we were in for a good evening, short as it would be. This was further added to by the giant bowls of jelly beans dotted strategically around the room, yum.

The event itself was to launch the new Ray-Ban Colorize Kit(available exclusively at Selfridges) which allows you to customise your pair by drawing on the arms and frames. It was also a preview of an exhibition of Fender guitars that have been customised by 10 artists that will be auctioned in aide of Oxfam later in the year.



Apart from Jelly Bellies and free booze, they also had areas where you could try on different Wayfarers and get your polaroid taken, cool wall prints, plus Esser and DJ sets from Mystery Jets and Lou & Nova for music-slash-entertainment.



What they didn't tell you about was the small area tucked in a corner where you could go and test out the Colorize Kit on your own pair of Ray-Bans. Word began to spread through the crowd that this area existed and once it was out, people started flocking like bees to honey. Unfortunately, the free pairs ran out quickly, sending those trolling for freebies scrambling at a display unit that was purely for trying on (but not manned). Don't you know that in these hard times, fashionistas will fight for free sunnies? We witnessed one girl having a pair of aviators prised out of her hands after she'd already drawn on them. Ouch.

Ambling back into the room, we were pleasantly surprised to discover that Esser were actually pretty good. Often at these kind of thing, you get bands playing who are achingly cool but also painfully shit. We even had a little boogie.



I'm even debating checking them out again, which doesn't happen often. While we were bopping along, we noticed various highly recognisable faces in the crowd, including the following: Jo Wood, Alexa Chung, Nick Grimshaw and drumroll please, Amy Winehouse, fresh from the Caribbean. I know that you've probably skimmed through the above to get to the photos so I'll just get on with posting these:


Alexa Chung, who spent the evening being pretty low key and watching Esser.



Above: Amy Winehouse, sucking her thumb, after she had run around, leaping (literally) on Wood, Grimshaw and a variety of other people in the crowd. She did look far healthier in the flesh, with a slight tan and fuller figure but she is clearly as mad as a box of frogs.

Having casually stalked Wino, we got bored and decided to play with some sunnies at one of the trying-on points. My partner in crime took the following photo of me trying on aviators:



You got a Polaroid snapped (which you were encouraged to write something witty on) wearing a pair for their wall:



Opposite that wall, they had another featuring lots of photos of presumably famous people wearing Ray-Bans:



Having wandered around for a while, we had to leave to hit another meeting and thus missed a certain 'face' so desperate for some free Ray-Bans that she started clambering up to help herself to a fistful of sunnies at a five finger discount. One of the chandeliers, pre-mugging:



However, it was once we'd left (sans goodie bag-boo!) that things started to get very interesting indeed. Lurking by the loos, waiting for my friend, I couldn't help noticing a familiar beehive floating around the Cath Kidston section of the Lower Ground Floor, picking up pretty much everything like a floral-obsessed klepto. I'm not sure if the woman marching Amy Winehouse back to her minders in this photo is the staff member for CK, a random member of the public or one of her own team:



FYI: Amy is absolutely miniscule. I'm small myself but she's teeny tiny, even with the beehive. As we left Selfridges a short while later, the girls walking out of the door in front of us got a serious case of papping. I'm sure that there are several photos lurking on WENN of me looking slightly confused - if only I knew who it was.

Now, as lame as it is, I'm going to retire even though it's Friday night and I should - according to British tradition - be having the time of my life being sick in an alley somewhere. Next time - Quiksilver for Women's gig-slash-launch party and the bad things I did at the Burberry Sample Sale.

Silent scream

I'm sorry if I seem to have disappeared again. And I was doing so well, right? After the craziness of fashion week back-to-back with my boyfriend's sister's wedding with a side of crippling throat virus, I felt I owed it to myself to slow down for a few days. Unfortunately, that was not the case as it was back to the swing of things in the office plus a band shoot on Saturday. Once again, I found myself doing a long week and sleeping most of Sunday in order to be ready for Monday.

The good news is that I intend to kick back and relax this weekend so just the thought of that is reinvigorating me as I type and I'll no doubt be back and raring to go later this week, with tales and photos from the Rayban Colorize party last week - Amy Winehouse, Esser and the riot over free Raybans all to come.

The bad news is you'll have to wait til next time.

Testing, 1, 2, 3?

On Saturday, I'm meant to be doing a couple of test shots with a band that my boyfriend works with. So far, I have had little to no contact with them and subsequently, have no idea what direction the shoot will take, which is making me panic a little. Okay, a lot.

It has however reminded me that I never posted photos from my last test from sometime back in October/November so I figure in the absence of any other posts, you might like to see these. There was no real story, other than maybe black. It was very much a shoot for finding my feet and playing around to find out what I liked.

Et Voila!






Photographer: Caroline Leeming
Makeup: Ruth Brophy
Hair: Lynda Darragh
Model: Isobel at Nevs

You only love me when I'm fashionable

During LFW, my blog traffic spikes dramatically. I'm not sure how people find me, as I don't pop up high in google searches normally but clearly, one way or another people managed to sniff me out.

Of course, now that Fashion Week is over and I'm being lazy about posting my videos, my traffic has dropped back down and I'm free to post intermittently rather than at all hours of the night. Videos will come later this week, once I have a bit more time to edit them and maybe even put them to some new music. Unfortunately, I'm as busy as ever - I'm currently running between my day job and a freelance project that I'm doing at the weekend, all while dealing with a virus on my vocal chords (as finally confirmed by a doctor this afternoon). I don't know if you've ever tried to go a day without talking - like, maybe a sponsored silence - but it's bloody hard when you're a chatterbox like me.

In the meantime, please amuse yourselves with some of my new obsessions:

This is why you're fat dot com featuring the McGangBang, a close cousin to the SteakMac.

F My Life dot com always makes me feel better. "Today, I told my boyfriend that I don't like his facial hair and that he should shave it off. He replied, "You first."

If you can't wait for my next post, follow my inane ramblings on Twitter.