Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Million Dollar Woman

Tonight, in command of the laptop and slightly bored, I decided to check out HumanForSale.com which was featured in tonight's London Lite.


HumanForSale.com - Free Survey

Turns out, I'm worth $1,891,088 or for my fellow Brits, £949,865.14. I think it sounds better in dollars, as long as you pretend to forget the current exchange rates.

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Monday, January 28, 2008

Hell hath no fury...

So, you may've noticed that I skirted around one of the biggest news topics last week, the death of Heath Ledger. One reason I won't be speculating on what happened is that I think that the incident and Ledger's life have been dissected, gossiped about and whipped up into a frenzy of tabloid breast-beating. I therefore, will not be heaping my thoughts on the matter onto the mountain of opinion already out there, except to say that it's very sad.

One of the stories to piggyback off Ledger's passing is, of course, the rearing of the Westboro Baptist church movement, Godhatesfags.com*, who intended to picket his funeral in order to gain a little more notoriety. WBC are those charming individuals who have previously been known to picket military funerals of US Soldiers who have served in Iraq and Afgahnistain, as seen on Louis Theroux's great documentary. They believe that events such as the war, 9/11 and the London Tube bombings are punishments festooned upon the world for the acceptance of homosexuality by a vengeful God. Ergo, Ledger's family deserve to have their goodbyes tainted by some inbred morons because he played a gay cowboy. I've uploaded their press release below (originally posted on HolyMoly!:



As you can see, their number is clearly printed at the top of the image. Whilst I should probably not endorse crank calling, I'm not saying don't. The number may've already been disconnected but it's still worth a shot. And in case for any reason you can't read it, it's 785-273-0325. Holler at a redneck, y'all!


* - I have deliberately not given this site a link. I must concede that in writing about this topic, I am on some small level giving publicity to those who I abhore for their stupidity and small-mindedness. But I will not make it any easier for someone to click through to their site.

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Friday, January 25, 2008

Sunglasses and Scientology

Remember those sunglasses I mentioned the other day? Well, browsing lookbooks the other day at work, I saw that they came in cream as well. I fell a little more in love and on my lunch break today, I ran to Topshop. Lo and behold, within 15 minutes they were mine and I was very happy. So happy that I'm willing to drop some of my dignity and take an emo-myspace photo to show you how cool they are:



Unfortunately, the star top will not be mine. The day after I blogged, I read five different fashion columns that all mentioned it. It flew off shelves and despite extensive trawling of the Oxford Circus branch, I will be star-less. Unless I hit up a couple of smaller Topshops in less fashiony areas and hope for the best. Although frankly, the idea of walking down the street and seeing other people wearing it kind of puts me off. Once something has sold out, Topshop's ubiquitousness means that walking down the street I can spot half of my wardrobe on strangers on any given day.

In other news: Scientologists be warned, the end is nigh. About bloody time too. Watch the oddly creepy video that has clearly been made using Microsoft Sam's disjointed text reading programme.



Now go, enjoy the weekend.

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Thursday, January 24, 2008

Vegetative state

Recently, news of vegetables has come into my life. Not that I didn't know what vegetables were or didn't eat them before; I would have to be alien or stupid not to. Late at night one evening last week, click cruising through facebook in a stupor of boredom, I came across the group On May 15th 2008, everybody needs to go out and panic buy CARROTS. I joined it for the hell of it, figuring it's kind of like flash mob but on a much grander (and more orange) scale. Plus I like carrots.

I marked the date in my diary and went about my business, completely forgetting about it. This morning as I was getting ready with the BBC's early morning programme on in the background, a very solemn piece caught my attention. Ladies and gentlemen, we are soon to experience an onion shortage. Yes, apparently, the stock of British onions is dwindling and we are about to have our own eye-stinging crisis as prices rise and members of the public brawl in the aisles of Tesco over the last bag of shallots.

You know it's serious when Reuters puts out a two page story on it.

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Monday, January 21, 2008

Shoes and consequence



Let me start this posting by explaining one thing; I do not run. I may sprint gingerly to the bus stop as I spy a bus sitting in traffic but I will not actively or willingly peg it down the street without just cause. One of the reasons behind this is that my knees are in very bad shape after three dislocations and an activity such as running may cause another.

Recently, I have found myself frequently sprinting for the bus more than usual. It was actually proving to be a good form of exercise and helping my knees get a little more used to being put through their paces. Then last Tuesday I helped on a shoot on location in a very tall house where I spent a good deal of the day running up and down the stairs. Needless to say, I got a twinge. The next few days as I ran, both of my knees felt weird in very different ways and I was forced to half-run-half-limp after the bus.

And then I did something even sillier. On Saturday night, I wore heels. I can rarely wear heels as my doctor advised against it many years ago due to the state of my knees. However, I had survived the work Christmas party last month with aplomb and I thought I could risk it; there was no public transport involved, it was a very lovely bar and frankly, I was tired of always being eye-to-armpit height to my friends. I had convinced myself to forget until that night how different one feels swishing around in heels. On seeing my legs in a mirror, transformed from cankles to sinewy limbs, I couldn't help but feel affection for the patent torture devices on my feet.

I admit that I am paying the price for it today. Running for the bus tonight my left knee (the bad one) wouldn't straighten properly as I attempted a sprint, making me run in a slightly deranged hop. But you know, occasionally that price is worth paying for that little confidence boost.

[Just so you know, in case you don't, the shoes above as Christian Louboutin Mary Janes. I love them. I have lusted after them from afar for a long time. One day, they shall be mine. Oh Yes. Even just to look at.]

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Thursday, January 17, 2008

Young, broke and in love.

There is nothing worse than being broke, except being broke and perving over Topshop's website. It breaks my heart. There is SO much stuff I want to buy and no money to buy it with, especially after having to blow what was left of my birthday money on a new battery for my car after the old one gave in from the cold.

BOOOOO!

Until recently, for the last two months, I have avoided as many forms of shopping as I could. I even avoided Primark for fear of having cheap-items-must-buy-more syndrome and going a little crazy. I finally caved and visited Topshop on my lunch break the other day to buy some new black boots since mine are on their last legs. Since then, all resolve has blown straight out of the window and I am once again allowing my eye to wander.

Let me share with you what I want to buy:





As you can see, I like monochrome. Unfortunately, my bank manager doesn't, so I'll have to quench my shopping appetite with these little beauties instead:


At £15, I can probably just about afford these. I LOVE them. I know they're basically the Lolita glasses but they have an awesomeness behind them. Tomorrow, they WILL be mine. Oh yes.

I look forward to the day I once more have a salary and can rejoice in shopping again. I really do.

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Friday, January 11, 2008

2008, oh great.

I know it's pretty late but Happy New Year! So far '08 has been pretty busy for me. Cruelly, I had to start work back on the 2nd. I'll be honest, that early is a nasty shock to the system. Last year, I started on the 3rd. Even a day makes a difference when its that close to New Years Day.

So far, I don't know whether I like '08. '07 was a pretty good year but so far, this year has brought nothing but poverty, which sucks. I'd better get a pay cheque soon or I'll have to start selling random objects, people or organs on ebay.

What sucks most is having to leave my job at the end of this month. I've really enjoyed interning at the magazine I'm with now. Most of the time, I am treated with courtesy, kindness and humanity, unlike many interns. I like the people I work with but now with the deadline of my temporary contract looming, I must move on to pastures new. It'll be weird to go somewhere, good but weird. I think new faces will be healthy. But still strange. Luckily, my next stop will feature a friend of mine who has just taken a position at the same place so I'll have one ally.

That makes it slightly less scary.

On a completely random and polar topic change, has anyone seen this week's postsecret? This reply is particularly haunting:


Sent: Thursday, January 10, 2008 1:14 AM
Subject: Re: PostSecret News

I am a 43 year old mom, and I have two daughters, ages 10 and 12. I have read your blog for a while now. I purchased one of your books, and then when I found out you would be on a campus nearby, I went to listen and watch.

My husband was out of town at the time. My daughters stayed home, when I returned they asked me about the event I went to see. I told them how much I enjoyed it, showed them the covers of the books I purchased, showed them your signature. I also read a secret on the back of one of the books. Then after a little while, I told my girls to brush their teeth and get ready for bed.

Then one of them returns to my room. She was shaking, clearly upset and her lip was quivering. I said, "baby what's wrong?" I couldn't imagine what had upset her and she said, "Mom I have a secret." What she proceeded to tell me was the ultimate betrayal a father and a husband could commit to both of his daughters, and to me.

Of course then an emotional tornado soon followed, and I chose to believe and protect my daughters. So fast forward to now. Divorce papers filed. Serious felony charges filed by prosecutor. Full order of protection granted. New town, new life. Free of sexual abuse, dishonesty, and betrayal.

I know, it is possible that my daughters would have told me later, I know it is possible they may never have told me. But I know for a fact it was because of your book and so many brave people releasing their secrets that inspired my daughter, to tell the hardest secret she has ever had to keep and the hardest secret she will ever have to release.

Because of that, we are free. They are free. They are safe now. So thank you, very very much.


I don't know quite how to end this post; it could be a wittism or one liner, it could be heavy. I don't know. Maybe its best to follow postsecret* and make what you will of it.




* - got visit postsecret because it's awesome. Did I mention how awesome postsecret is? Go, visit. NOW. (And no, I'm not being paid to say that.)

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