Uh, guys?

Does anyone else find the new Orangina advert creepily over-sexed? Now, I'm no prude by any means but seeing jungle animals in bikinis twirling round stripper poles and a lap dancing Octopus doesn't make me thirsty and it certainly doesn't make me think hmm, I must buy Orangina next time. And I quite like Orangina.

Judge for yourselves:



Happy Friday!

My humps

For those of you who may have been momentarily excited by the title of this post, I'm sorry to disappoint you but it's not anything to do with what Fergie illustriously refers to as Lady Lumps. I apologise for any interest caused.

For the last two weeks or so, I've had a strange hump/lump on my forearm, just above my elbow. How and why this mystery blemish originated is beyond me. It was simply the case that I woke up one morning, lo and behold, I was lumpy of arm. Now, I know most people out there will be thinking that the protusion on my arm is the result of a drunken bump into something but seeing as the lump emerged mid-week, is solid and has no bruising, I've pretty much ruled out this potential source of lumpiness.

I've also noticed that the lump fluctuates in size. Some days, it'll be tiny, barely discernable. The next, it will be a raging pink and demanding attention, often after I've spent sizable hours leaning on it at work. It's understandable - I'd be pink and angry if someone spent 8 hours leaning on me too. The weird thing is though, it's not tender, its not purple and the fact that it comes and goes as it pleases fascinates me to no end. I spend countless moments throughout the day examining, poking and prodding it - at least if it hurt under duress, I could justify it's presence but the fact that it seems completely indifferent to any pain inflicted is slightly alarming. I know that in today's digital age, I should be sharing photos at multiple angles of the lump but due to it's difficult position and the fact that my camera is pretty rubbish, I shall have to leave it to your imaginations until a later date.

So far, only one lump, right? Not quite. To match it, I also have a lump in my ear but I have a feeling that you've probably stomached all of the lump news you can today and on that note, I will end our lesson is adulescent swellings. To make up for it, please enjoy Alanis Morrissette's brilliant piss-take of Fergie's dancefloor classic, as mentioned earlier.

Rawr. Boo. Hiss. (Tee hee)

Another work experience bailed on me today, which means that not only am I now doing the job of two people, I also can't really leave the cupboard unattended. Ergo, I can't go to shows unless they're on my lunch break or after work. I'm really annoyed as it means that the great glory that is fashion week is now cruelly dangled just out of my grasp. I can just about get the tips of my fingers on it, such as the show I went to after work but I can't grab it and savour it for all its worth.

In short, it blows.

But not everything in life blows. Surfing around on Youtube, I came across this little gem:




If that doesn't make you laugh (or even titter quietly to yourself- you have no soul.

Another random thing and then I'll be quiet and leave you good folks alone; why on earth, when I hit publish on this thing, does my status report come up in a mixture of German and English?



Weird.

Sunstroke induced mindcrap

I know that my visits back here are sporadic at best right now, recently I've been feeling very blah towards everything - I haven't really even taken any photos, which I usually do on a practically obsessive level. Today was the first day I took my camera out and actually used it, albeit for silly purposes. After what seemed like the week from hell at work, we were rewarded by a weekend of sun and what better way to spend it than lolling in the sun?

My friend Holly* has just got herself a new Schnauzer puppy called Alfie. He's nine weeks old and adorable. Today, we figured it would be fun to introduce Alfie to Bunny and Holly, my two dachshunds. (Yes, I know, Bunny is a ridiculous name for a male dog) Dog Holly was none to impressed by the new arrival and spent the day sitting in the doorframe and periodically barking her displeasure at Alfie as he romped around the garden and tried to engage Bunny - who's pushing thirteen - to play with him.



*You may remember Holly from the OzBlog, the piece of (mostly drunken) mastery from 2003 as we travelled the South Pacific with sometimes disasterous consequences.

Just because it's funny

If you missed the weekend delights of Shipwrecked, then you missed out on the wonders that were toffs Will and Stevie. Here, clearly drunk as newts in a pint of vodka (note: Will's arms, covered in sharpie scrawl including a crudely drawn penis), re-enacting David Hasselhoff's drunk video.

In other news, I went to see the Frattellis at Scala on Monday night. I'll admit I'm not a huge fan, and beyond the singles, I haven't heard anything but I really enjoyed it. It was a much smaller crowd than I anticipated, maximum 500. And such a happy, clappy bunch.

I'll post video and photos later.

EU burglary

I am most disappointed with Eurovision this year. It is one of my guilty pleasures - watching truly awful music on an EU level. Each country trying to outdo the previous with alternating tacky and supposedly meaningful power ballads.

Watching the semi-finals (too many countries these days) the other night, my boyfriend and I played the '3-words-or-less or bastard-love-child-of' game for each country's contribution. And then came Belgium and my heart was won; this was what Eurovision was all about:



Unfortunately, Belgium were robbed of one of the 10 spots in the finals tonight. Instead, Serbia won with a bunch of overweight plum-dyed-hair women singing pop opera, one of the most disturbing music hybrids. I refuse to post the video and endorse this monstrosity. Belgium was robbed I tell you, ROBBED!

Camden Crawl, part iii : Aha!

Part 3 makes its' way onto youtube:

Camden Crawl, part ii

So, I promised you videos and (since the last two days have been of the relatively mediocre variety), I bring you videos of YourCodeNameIs:Milo. Enjoy.






For some reason, youtube won't acknowledge the third video, so I'll have to post it another time. For those who care to know, my hearing is still fuzzy.

Unemployment Day 15

And the mind numbing boredom continues. I feel rather like Hugh Grant's character in About a Boy, dividing my time into slots and creating vastly insignificant activities in order to fill said time slots. Today's activities have so far been as follows:

1 - sleep
2 - daytime television (watched in bed)
3 - cup of tea
4 - more daytime television viewing
5 - shower (during lunchtime news)
6 - Neighbours
7 - panicking and in need of something to do, I dug out all of the video clips from the LFW shows I got to go to and began to edit them into a mini video. Below are the results (well, one of them thus far):



This is the Biba autumn/winter show for 2007/8 that I went to back in February. Unfortunately, the sound on my clips was awful and juddery, so I added 'Joe Le Taxi' from As Heard on Radio Soulwax pt 2 but I do remember the soundtrack being really good.

Now to fill time slot 8, lunch.

Unemployment Night 6 (as told on Day 7), Part ii

As promised, the EA Sports chant video from last night:

Unemployment Night 6 (as told on Day 7)

So, as I mentioned in my earlier post, last night we went to see Yourcodenameis:milo and Enter Shikari at the Hammersmith Palais. It was all a bit last minute as to whether we'd actually go or not but it all came true sometime around 5:30pm and we got some speed and socks on and off we trundled.

First up were Yourcodenameis:milo, who in all honesty I personally preferred. Don't get me wrong, Enter Shikari do a good stage show but in terms of taste, Milo are definitely more my thing. It always takes me a while to get into the swing of things with my new camera and unfortunately, these were the first and only photos I got of them.




During their set, a very large and sweaty death pit opened up, full of 14 year old boys with their shirts off and glowsticks everywhere trying to beat the hell out of each other - all in the name of Monday morning at school when everyone asks why they have a black eye and they can smoothly say This thing? Oh, from the death pit on Saturday night. Security started shining torches on them as they counted down to the charge, meaning that it caught everyone's attention just in time for the mass collision of limbs in the middle, kindly spotlighted by the men in neon coats for our gory enjoyment, a nice prelude to the main act.

As I've mentioned before, Enter Shikari is not straight off something that I would listen to when I'm dossing around. Clearly my taste varied from the 13-16 year olds that made up the majority of the crowd (and made me feel very old) but I'll give them this; they do a brilliant stage show. I must also award them kudos for picking up on the fact that everyone likes stuff that glows in the dark, particularly if they're a 15 year old stoner. No doubt they have made a small fortune from their flashy ring things that they used to sell (do they still sell these?) and that the crowds love. From the side balcony, where I moved to for the main show, the crowd was a mass of flashing dots of light and millions of tiny flashing ring lights.

Anyway, I'm going to stop rambling and start the show and tell. [click images for bigger versions]
















At the aftershow later, I was shoving my lollipop in my drink and accidentally let go:



Thankfully, the lollipop was eventually recovered and eaten.

Also at the aftershow, we were talking to the bassist from Milo when I happened to notice someone wandering in with sunglasses perched on his head in the very smoky and dark venue. Being me, I couldn't help but remark about it, something along the lines of "Who's the dude wearing sunglasses? Indoors? At night?" to which my male companions smirked and informed me that the gent whose style I'd called into question was Rou, Enter Shikari's lead singer. Whoops. Naturally, my male companions decided that this was funny enough to warrant dragging Rou over and repeating what I had said. I sincerely hope he saw the funny side.

You can't take me anywhere these days, I just can't be trusted.

Finally, two clips from the show itself, I will in due course also find and post the 'EA sports' chant clip from last night.





Now, back to my regular Sunday activities of loafing, reading the papers and eating. I have to make the most of it as I found out that my planned two month sabbatical has now been shortened to a mere three weeks until I'm back in the cupboard, so that's not much freedom left. Not at all.

Shameless plug

Since it's Sunday, I naturally have no inclination to post. Instead, I'm going to make you watch this purely because I can:



alternatively, go watch it over at punktastic. Bump up the numbers, push them up the charts and fuck all the punktastic emo nazis off. If you like Flood of Red, check out Small Town Records.

Do it. Hell, do everything I just told you to do. It'll make my boyfriend happy and ergo, me happy. And we all know a happy anti is better than ranting anti.

Calm after the Monday

Mondays always seem worse than they actually are but for those of you who had a bad Monday, I bring something to relieve the stress. Surfing youtube yesterday, I found this video. It made me happy, so now I share it's soothing effects with you:


A Postcard From Brighton

Now there's just Tuesday to get through.

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POSTSCRIPT: By sheer weirdness, student appears to have updated itself. I'm not entirely sure how as I have no recollection of editting or posting anything new. Weird.

One man, lots and lots of t-shirts

Instead of a normal post, I have reverted to my old youtubing ways for content. This video made my night.