Hey, Fatty! - Whoops.

I realize that I haven’t blogged in quite some time, despite my assurances to you that I would blog every day during the hell that is the Hey Fatty diet. One of my many reasons is the fact two weeks ago, I fell off the wagon somewhat spectacularly at the New Look party. Having not eaten much, once I hit the champagne I was away to put it mildly. I was bold enough to go over to Peaches Geldof and Samanda and start up random conversations with all three and I’d like to issue an open apology for my drunkenness. I also accosted Swarovski Crystal Head man, (real name Phillip), who I have previously met during LFW. He didn’t recognize me but was kind enough to humour my requests for a photograph of his scalp, which was covered in lots of butterflies, as you’ll see from the photos below:


Phillip of Lazygramophone.com


Peaches Geldof, who was far too friendly or humouring my drunkenness. I can't decide.



BB's Samanda. Can you see the scared smile?

And now, back to business. I will fully admit that having lost 10 lbs, the joy went slightly to my head and I’ve not been as strict with myself in the last week. This morning on the tube, lacking a Metro, I decided to tally up everything that I’ve eaten in the last 9 days and the results are below. I’m yet to weigh myself but I have a feeling that my weight hasn’t shifted at all. Still, I luckily still have the better part of two weeks to whittle away those last few pounds before I’m forced to reveal my bikini body for the first time in a year. However, the progress can definitely be seen (and felt) from the fact that I can fit into a brand new pair of Topshop Baxter skinnies (waist 26) without having to lie down on the floor to do them up. Enough pratting on, let’s get to the food diary:

Wednesday 29th April

Lunch - EAT prawn salad, banana, water
Snack – none
Dinner – tuna handroll, salmon nigiri, salmon sashimi
Party – copious amounts of champagne and red wine

Thursday 30th April (this was the day that I was so hungover, the thought of any food other than fatty junk made me feel physically sick)

Breakfast – none
Snack – none
Lunch – none
Snack (at press day) – two Portuguese custard tarts, water
Dinner – sweet and sour chicken hong kong style, boiled rice, crispy seaweed, prawn crackers, half a can of coke

The half can of coke was probably the best tasting can of Coke that I’ve ever had. Having not drunk what was essentially my life blood and only form of caffeine for a week and a half, it was like manna from heaven.

Friday 1st May

Breakfast – banana
Snack – none
Lunch – Salmon salad with brown rice (M&S), five king prawns
Snack – none
Dinner (for the boyfriend’s birthday) – Steak, handful of fries, 3 glasses of red wine

Saturday 2nd May

Absolutely no clue. Must investigate.

Sunday 3rd May (Boyfriend’s Birthday BBQ day – no actual defined meals as such)

3 small hot dogs, 5 tbsp coleslaw, handful of carrot batons, handful of cherry tomatoes, 2 breadsticks, crisps. 4 Kopparbergs, fruit from the Pimms bowl.

Monday 4th (Bank Holiday)
Breakfast – none
Snack – none
Lunch/Dinner – (Yo Sushi) tuna handroll, edamame, salmon nigiri, chicken gyoza, chicken katsu, can of Coke
Snack – bag of Wiltshire ham crisps from M&S, ½ Bulmer’s pear

Tuesday 5th
Breakfast – banana
Snack – none
Lunch – prawn salad, banana
Snack – apple, Wiltshire ham crisps
Dinner – grilled tandoori chicken in wheat free pitta, 1 poppadom, 1 ½ glasses of lemonade, 1 Bulmers pear

Wednesday 6th
Breakfast – bacon sandwich, can of Coke
Snack – none
Lunch – Vital salad (lettuce, chicken, egg noodle, tomato, sweetcorn, peppers and chilli/ginger dressing)
Snack – Prawn crackers
Dinner – Halloumi, 8 smiley faces, corn on the cob
Thursday 7th
Breakfast – 3 mini fruit skewers
Snack – none
Lunch – Grilled chicken superfood salad (Leon)
Snack – half a cupcake, small bag Toffee popcorn
Dinner – half a large pizza (Dominos)

Friday 8th
Breakfast – banana
Snack – none
Lunch – 2 pieces seared tuna and coriander nigiri, 2 pieces seared salmon nigiri, 4 pieces salmon maki, 4 pieces tuna maki, packet of McCoys flame grilled steak crisps, coke.

Saturday 9th
Breakfast/lunch - 2 carrots, 2 tbsp low fat coleslaw, 1 tbsp tarmasalata, 1 wholemeal pitta, 4 slice halloumi cheese, grilled, 2 glasses of red wine
Evening out - 1 Kopparberg pear cider, 2 glasses of red wine, McDonalds cheese burger, handful of fries

Sunday 10th
Breakfast – worked through
Lunch – 2 carrots, 1 tbsp tarmasalata, 2 tbsp low fat coleslaw, 4 slices halloumi, grilled chorizo
Snack – none
Dinner – roast chicken breast (minus skin), green beans, salad with dressing, 3 toffee poppets, handful of Nandos crisps, toffee popcorn

Monday 11th
Breakfast – banana
Snacks – Sweet chilli sensation crisps
Lunch – 2 salmon nigiri, 2 tuna nigiri, 1 tuna roll (4 pieces), 1 salmon roll
Dinner – grilled chicken, cucumber and spring onion salad

Tuesday 12th
Breakfast – bacon sandwich and can of coke
Snack – none
Lunch - 2 salmon nigiri, 2 tuna nigiri, 1 tuna roll (4 pieces), 1 salmon roll
Snack – none
Dinner – chicken fajitas, 3 Kopparbergs, toffee popcorn

Wednesday 13th
Breakfast – fruit stick, orange juice
Snack – various canapés
Lunch - 2 salmon nigiri, 2 tuna nigiri, 1 tuna roll (4 pieces), 1 salmon roll
Snack/Dinner – various canapés, champagne

More stories of recent adventures tomorrow, I promise.

Hey, Fatty! Day Nine

As I've mentioned before, where there's a press day, there's pretty much always temptation and today, once again, temptation won. Let's have a little recap, shall we?

Breakfast (at event) - Large glass of orange juice, mini apricot pastry, smoked salmon 1/2 mini bagel.
Snack - none
Lunch - small prawn salad (EAT), 2 tbsp coleslaw, banana, water
Afternoon (at events) 3 smoked salmon finger sandwiches, one beef, 1 peach bellini. 4 pieces tuna and cucumber inside out roll, 1 raspberry bellini.
Dinner - 3 wheat free fish fingers (baked), handful 3% fat oven chips, peas, baked beans, small glass of apple juice.

Not bad but not great either. I really need to step back up on my water drinking. I've noticed that now that I've hit 120 lbs, I'm not dropping the weight as quickly as I did last week but at the same time, I'm also being absent minded and not drinking enough water. Not good, must do better.

Hey, Fatty! Days Seven & Eight

Forgive me dietary father, for I hath sinned.

After posting my last blog, I went off to play Blackjack and drink Kopparberg. These two combined unleashed a rather reckless side of me and having watched the boyfriend polish off four bags of crisps in front of me - I cracked. I practically shouted 'I can't take it anymore! Give me junk!' and dove onto a packet from the multibag that he'd bought a few hours earlier.

And oh my, I felt guilty on Sunday morning. I could practically hear my fat growing again and it didn't get hugely better for the rest of the day. Admittedly, I slept through anything resembling an actually breakfast time and the whole day seemed to get pushed back an hour or two with the lovely weather. I had been craving sushi all day but it seemed that everywhere we went, we were foiled and we settled on the next healthiest quick food - Nandos. Now that I've confessed my food sins, I'll get on with the munch count:

Sunday
Breakfast - none
Snack - none
Late lunch - chicken pitta, chips and 2 perinaises.
Snack - none
Dinner - carrot sticks, cherry tomatoes, 2 tsp sour cream & chive dip, 3 slices of mozzarella, 2 small pieces of brie, 5 slices chorizo.
Drinks - 2 glasses of apple juice, bottle of water, 1 bottle of Kopparberg

Today
Breakfast/snack - green grapes
Lunch - beetroot salad and cherry tomatoes, fillet of mackerel, lemon juice, balsamic vinegar
Snack - 2 handfuls of baked pretzels
Dinner - 3 small skewers (1 breast) satay chicken, beetroot salad, heated wrap flat bread.
Drinks - water only

Spurred on by last week's weight loss, I'm starting to be able to say no to foods. As often as I dream of eating more crisps, I think of the end result and somehow deep fried potato no longer seems so appealing and I never thought I'd say that.

Hey, Fatty! Days Five and Six

So, it's the weekend and as the boyfriend has so rightfully pointed out, as I've done well so I'm allowed a little slip here and there, which is how I ended up eating takeout last night. I'm combining today and Friday's food posts in one to catch up. Let's start with yesterday:

Breakfast - mini bacon sandwich, 2 1/2 large glasses freshly squeezed orange juice
Snack - none
Lunch - small prawn salad (EAT), banana, bottle of water
Afternoon snack - none
Dinner - 1 piece of tandoori chicken, 4 tbsp pilau rice, 1 piece of peshwari naan
Drinks - 2 cans of Kopparberg

And on to today:
Breakfast - none (slept through)
Snack - none (slept through)
Lunch - same as Friday dinner (leftovers)
Snack - Muller lite strawberry yoghurt
Dinner - grilled chicken wrap
Drinks - (so far) 1 can, 2 bottles of Kopparberg

I estimate I'll probably have another Kopparberg before the evening is out but we'll see. I'll post any additions tomorrow. I also went to the gym today for over an hour - half an hour of Powerplating plus half an hour of cardio to try and work off the takeaway.

More gym tomorrow. Yeay.

Hey, Fatty! Day Five, part i

I know they say that curiosity killed the cat but I decided to weigh myself to test the waters and see if the diet was progressing at all and drum roll please...

(pauses for dramatic effect)

I've already lost 7 lbs! I'm 120 lbs! Hurrah! Now to the pub for (moderate) celebrations.

Hey, Fatty! Day Four (as told on Day Five)

Apologies for the lack of posting last night, by the time I got home I was far too exhausted and drunk to write anything vaguely coherent. Without further ado, I present yesterday's food:

Breakfast/Mid-morning snack - grapes and 5 slices of mozzarella
Lunch - Half of a beetroot salad, 1 small fillet of mackerel with lemon
Afternoon snack - handful of organic walnuts
Dinner - 7 slices chorizo, 3 tbsp light coleslaw

Admittedly, dinner wasn't really dinner as I was at the Converse Music party where I consumed four vodka and orange drinks so I didn't eat until about 10:30pm, which isn't good so I kept my portion small. I'd also like to point out that I detest vodka but since it was either that or beer at the shindig, it seemed like the lesser of two evils. I know that I shouldn't drink if I really want to lose weight but believe me when I say that to get through that party, I needed a few drinks.

Anyway, it's Friday night and I'm heading out for a few drinks after a long day and an even longer week. Check back later for what I ate today. I bet you can't wait, right?

Hey, Fatty! Day Three

While I may not be great at the whole dieting thing, I must say that I'm pretty good at falling off the wagon, as seen by today's lunch and evening alcohol intake. Oh Dear. Judge for yourselves:

Breakfast/mid morning snack (merged) - small bunch of purple grapes and 5 thin slices of mozzarella
Lunch - cajun chicken wrap with small portion of chips, salad
Afternoon snack - none, too full from lunch
Dinner - Smoked Mackarel fillet with lemon, 2 slices of brown toast (no butter), small portion of beetroot and lamb's leaf salad with balsamic vinegar, 2 tbsp of light coleslaw

Today's bad things - 1 1/2 small flutes of champagne, 500ml Kopparberg Pear Cider

Whoops. Now, to bed early with me - Not only am I absolutely exhausted but I have to be in town at 8:30am tomorrow for the Matthew Williamson for H&M opening. Oof.

Hey, Fatty! Day Two

If ever there was a thing to get in the way of a diet (or thinning, as I prefer to refer to it), it's a press event and today, I had two. I started the day with a breakfast event on the roof terrace of Soho House and ended it with the press preview and shopping event for Barbara Hulanicki for Topshop. Both had plenty of scrummy delights and led me to temptation. Oh and inbetween, who could forget that it was also Ben & Jerry's free cone day, coinciding with the hottest day of the year so far - 21C. Damn them. Now, onwards with my (shameful) food diary for today:

Breakfast - large glass of freshly squeezed orange juice, quarter of grilled bacon sandwich with a smear of ketchup
Mid-morning snack - small portion of green and black grapes
Lunch - 3 carrots, 2 tbsp tarmasalata dip, small beetroot/pepper/lettuce salad with balsamic vinegar
Afternoon snack - 1 scoop of B&J cookie dough in a waffle cone (BAD but yummy)
Dinner (at Topshop) - 1 1/2 small portions of salmon on brown rice with pomegranates, 2 bites of thai style halibut with rice, three slices of chicken breast, 3 small lumps of mozzarella. 1 shot glass of Dime bar cheesecake, 1 bite size chocolate fairy cake, 2 1/2 glasses champagne

Although my dinner may look like I ate a lot, the food portions were no more than a few forkfuls so I don't feel guilty. I do, however, feel guilty about the champagne. Bad bad bad.

While at the Barbara Hulanicki event, I bought the little aomeba/leopard print peach coloured skater skirt. The dress version literally sold out in about 10 minutes, with people stalking around trying to find cast offs. Among those in attendance that I saw were the ever present Jo Wood, Christopher Kane and OMG, Cilla Black. I promise to post photos tomorrow.

In the meantime, please check out the awesome Salad Club, a blog about yes you guessed it, salads and run by a girl I went to University with.

Without further ado, I bid you farewell - I'm off to pack a lunch and do some form of penance for my (minor) champagne guzzling.

Hey, Fatty! Day One

Without further ado, I present day one's food:

Breakfast - Innocent Mango and Passionfruit smoothie
Mid morning snack - none (forgot)
Lunch - EAT Thai noodle salad (noodles, carrots, spring onions, cashew nuts and sesame seeds) and grapes
Afternoon snack - green seedless grapes
Dinner - palm size portion of steak, beetroot/cabbage/lamb's leaf/cucumber salad, handful of oven chips, 2 tbsp of light coleslaw
Snack - handful of baked pretzels, grapes

BAD THINGS - five percy pigs, 1 midget gem

Earlier when we were going from aisle to aisle in the supermarket, I couldn't help but gaze longingly at all of the bad foods but it'll be worth it. As well as eating more healthily and not drinking alcohol, I'm also trying to drink around two litres of water a day. So far, I'm up to just over 1.5 so far, still another two glasses to go before bed. I know I'll probably bore you all endlessly with this project, so I figured I'd champion a blog a day too. Today, I fell in love with this one while surfing at work:

whatisrealityanyway.com

I want to find out what kind of filter or effect Krystal uses on her mini-shoots. I want it, along with most of her wardrobe. But not until I shift 14 pounds. And on that bombshell, I'm off to make my lunch for tomorrow.

Hey, Fatty! - Prologue

I return to the blog tonight rejuvenated and with a mission in mind. Let me explain - earlier this evening I ventured into my mother's bathroom to steal her nail varnish remover for a Sunday night pedicure and saw the scales by the door. Having not weighed myself in quite a while, I hopped on without a second thought. What popped up on the electronic display startled me. While at university, I was a tiny 107 lbs and while I was admittedly happy with my tiny frame, my face (as my mother and friends have now told me) looked somewhat skeletal.

Upon leaving university, I initially didn't put on any weight as I had a very active job as a costume assistant on films and it wasn't until I gave this up and retreated to a desk job as a fashion intern that the weight began to creep on. Sitting static and grazing on sweets and other junk all day, I put on four pounds, then seven and so on.

Up until this evening, I thought I weighed about 117 lbs but according to the scales that I used earlier, I am now 127 lbs. My first thought when I saw those digits was HOLY SHIT. My mother has been ribbing me for some time about putting on weight but up until that moment, I hadn't given it that much thought. Although I still fit an 8-10UK in every store, I've noticed recently that my face is lacking the distinct cheekbones of days gone by and that the gap that used to exist between my thighs is somewhat more minimal these days but that figure shocked me and so I've decided that it's finally time to take action.

I'm not saying that I want to go back down to my university weight. I understand now that at that weight I was actually UNDERWEIGHT for my height but I have decided that I would like to reach a happy medium of 113 lbs. In other words, I need to lose a stone (14 lbs). I'm not going to jump on any weird crash diet band wagons or start popping pills - instead, my intention is to lose 3.5 lbs for the next four weeks with a combination of better eating, no alcohol and moderate exercise.

As part of this, I've chosen to chronicle my attempts on here with a food diary and progress reports. Not only should this hopefully keep me in check and stop me sneaking off to eat Macdonalds but also it should get me back into the swing of blogging, so everyone wins. Check back tomorrow for the first installment of Hey, Fatty!